Sanji's Secret Stash
by Shironami
Summary: What happens when someone finds Sanji's secret stash of goodies! changed it, 3rd chapie you tell me what you want to see, Clarobell's idea of what's it the box! Read and REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece; Oda-sama does, so crappity, crappity crap, blah blah blah.

Luffy: Is this about me?

Shiro: Um, not really, but you're in here a lot.

Luffy: uhhhh, I wanna be the star!

Shiro: Sorry kid, what can I do?

Luffy: Make me the star! Duh! You wrote this, Change it!

_Whack! _

Sanji: didn't you see the title, This is about me you Shit-kid

Shiro: Um, yeah and no…

Sanji: haeh? What?

Shiro: yeah it was going to be but it got long and you really aren't in this chapter much…sorry.

Sanji: You suck!

Shiro: On to the story! Yay!

Sanji's Secret Stash

By: Shironami

Chopper and Luffy were running around the deck playing tag as Nami and Robin looked on laughing at their antics.

Zoro was sleeping against a railing; Usopp was making some new concoction and Sanji was in the galley making lunch.

Chopper was "it" and running after Luffy who had just jumped over Usopp and his small table of potions and oddities. Chopper ducked under Usopp's table in pursuit of Luffy; who was now darting past Nami and Robin as he passed Nami he grabbed her special smoothie that Sanji had given her minutes before.

"Luffy! Give that back, I'm not done with it!" Nami yelled from her chair as she waved her map at him scowling in his ever-moving direction.

"Okay!" He answered back, suddenly veering in an awkward position to lithely jump over Chopper and head back to where Nami was sitting. Little Chopper was in awe of the ease Luffy exuded when in motion, "Wow, so cool!"

Luffy skidded to a halt in front of Nami and nonchalantly dropped her fancy glass stemware that Sanji only used for the ladies, on her little side table, "There ya are Lil Lady" He said with an old west accent while tilting his straw hat at her.

She picked up the frosty glass, shaking her head at Luffy's randomness, _Could he be any weirder?_ She thought to herself, "Luffy?" She asked sternly.

"Yep, yep." He chirped.

She held up the cold cup, "What do you see?"

As if on cue his thinking cap went on, Robin and Nami could see the cogs straining to turn in his simple mind.

"It's one of Sanji's 'Ladies Only-so-don't-you-dare-touch-it-goblets.' I think it's kinda pretty, with its' swirls and tiney flowers. Ohh, and I like that skinny, twistly thing right there," He pointed to the mug's stem, "Yep, that's what I see!" He nodded as if that finalized the conversation.

"Uh-huh, okay then; what _don't_ you see?" Nami was getting frustrated with the intellect Luffy had, or didn't have.

Luffy looked around, "I don't see Sanji, I don't see any other ships around, and I don't see any birds… AH! And if my eyes are closed," Dramatic inhale, "I don't see_…anything!_" He whispered the last word, and seemed quite pleased with his answer, Nami didn't.

"Yeeeaah," Nami said shaking her head; Robin chucking in the background, "No," She again held up the expensive-looking glassware, "Here Luffy, what _don't_ you see _here_?"

"What don't I see there…?" Luffy was again trying to think about what was missing, liking this game Nami was playing with him less and less; he felt like in the end he'd be in trouble.

Nami nodded at him as he continued to think, she knew this might take some time…she didn't really want him to blow out the few remaining brain cells he had left so she permitted him all the time he needed.

"Umm, I don't seeee… the frosty, icy stuff anymore?" He questioned, not at all sure of how he was expected to answer.

Nami shook her head, "No." She simply said.

"Yes!" He knew this was the right answer, the frosty stuff had disappeared, he couldn't see it anymore, "Look, it's all gone now…can't see it!" He took her wrist with one hand and pointed to the goblet with the other.

She heaved an exasperated sigh, "Yes, it is gone. But that's because the glass has warmed up and the frost that was on the outside of the glass has melted away. But that's not the answer I was looking for."

His slender shoulders slumped and his head hung… back to square one. _Think Pirate King! What is the right answer? THINK! _Luffy was getting a little desperate, and he now _knew_ that no matter what the right answer was he was in for a good, sound whacking.

"There's… no… more… juice?" Luffy answered totally unsure if this was the stupid answer that she wanted, _Zoro's right, she can be a total bitch._

"That's right Luffy, and do you know _why_ there's no more juice?" She accentuated the 'juice' to let him know that it was not really juice, but something much more exquisite.

Luffy knew the answer to this and was proud to share his knowledge, "Because I drank it!" He was now brimming with happiness, smiling that childlike trademark smile of his.

Nami rolled her eyes while Robin continued to smile at the boyish captain, "You drank it…" She said harshly, not at all pleased.

_Oops, my bad._ Luffy was sure he was in for it now, "Hehehe, what can I do?" he seemed to not mind his impending doom.

Nami stood up and gave him a resounding _whack_ upside the head, "You drank it!" She all but yelled.

Luffy was now crouching on the deck holding his poor throbbing head, _Like it's my fault I drank all her juice… no, excuse me, her _juuUUiice_. Stupid juice why did you have to look so good to eat. _He put the same accent on 'juice' that Nami had, still cursing in his mind he got up and looked at Nami who was waiting for a response.

"What am I supposed to do?" he whined at her.

"I want you to go get me more!" she stated as though it were obvious.

He sighed, "Fine." He whined all the way to the galley, he stopped just short of the door and smiling he took in a huge breath.

"SAAAANJIIIIIIIII!" He bellowed at the closed door still grinning ear to ear as he heard things drop to the floor, various things breaking and Sanji cursing.

_Hehehehehehehe! Pirate King: 1; Sanji, Greatest Cook Ever: big fat 0!_

The door flung open, "You're not eating yet! So just _wait_!" _Sanji seems in a bad mood…I wonder why. _Luffy giggled to himself, clearly knowing why.

"I'm not here for food; although that is a GREAT idea…Nami wants more juice." He gave the chef his most innocent smile. _If I could just get into the galley I could make sure that the food has not been poisoned by evil runaway pirates or something like that. It is my duty as Captain to make sure that my awesome crew is totally safe!_

At the mere mention of Nami, Sanji did a complete 180, his frown melting into oblivion, his eyes going into heart mode and he suddenly seemed to be made out of Jell-O, "Sweet Nami-swan wants more juice! Of course, my Nami can have whatever she wants!"

"Good, she wants more juice; fetch boy!" Luffy again giggled as Sanji not noticing the doggy joke went to get more juice, "You stay there!" Sanji yelled; abruptly back to his old self. Luffy had just been about to cross the threshold into the galley. _Ah, foiled again! You win this round Cook! _

Sanji turned and pulled the door closed behind him, Luffy stood there rocking back and forth in his sandals, patently waiting, humming tunelessly to himself.

Sanji reappeared a few moments later with a tall glass of yellowish looking liquid. Sanji started walking toward the women; Luffy suddenly stopped him, "No! You finish lunch; I'll take it to her!" Luffy smiled taking the glass from Sanji and started off in her direction. Luffy unexpectedly turned back to Sanji, a big smile on his face, "This isn't the right juice."

Sanji once again turned away from his precious galley and frowned at Luffy, "Then why didn't you say something sooner?" He mumbled something that, to Luffy, sounded strangely like 'shit-kid' and made a grab to take the glass from Luffy.

The younger complied still smiling, Sanji took the glass then gave Luffy a suspicious look, "It's empty…" he callously scolded.

Luffy smiled, leaning forward to get a better look at the glass, "Hey, lookit that, so it is!"

Sanji kicked Luffy about the head, "Yeah, it is; I wonder how that happened!" His smooth voice oozing with sarcasm.

Luffy laughed happily at Sanji, "Why are you keeping Nami waiting…she wants more of the juice that you gave her earlier."

"You mean the _smoothie_ I gave her earlier?" Sanji was loosing his patience fast.

"Yep, yep! She told me to go get her another one, so here I am!" Luffy continued to smile aimlessly.

"I just gave her one, what happened to it?" Sanji asked skeptically.

Luffy didn't miss a beat, laughing he said, "Well, she drank it of course! She said it was the most deliciously thing she ever drank, and she _demands_ another one." He pounded his fist in his palm to bring the point home.

Sanji raised a delicate curly eyebrow, surveying Luffy and his possible motives, _He's not smart enough to try to deceive me in any way and when have I ever denied my precious Nami-swan? _

Sanji nodded and went to get another smoothie, _Hehehehehehe, gotcha! Pirate King: 2; Sanji, man-whore: 1. _

Sanji emerged from the galley with another fancy glass with thick, colorful liquid. He handed the cup to Luffy giving him a warning look; brow knitted, lips tight, nonverbally telling Luffy that if he drank that smoothie he'd be in sooo much trouble.

Luffy grinned and began to walk away, drink in hand. Every few steps he would stop and look back to see Sanji glaring at him at the door of the lounge.

Stopping every two or three steps made the trip to Nami longer than it normally would have taken, but he finally reached his destination and gave her the drink then looked back at Sanji one last time and flashed a monster smile and gave Sanji a thumbs up. He gave Luffy a curt nod of satisfaction and disappeared back to his galley.

At that moment Chopper walked casually up to Luffy, tapped him slowly on the leg and calmly stated, "You're it."

Luffy looked at Chopper with a mixture of confusion and surprise; having totally forgotten his game of tag with Chopper.

"OH YEAH! We're playing a game!" Luffy yelled cheerfully as he remembered what he had been doing before the incident with Nami.

Chopper squealed and ran off.

Luffy beamed and ran after Chopper.

Chopper ran past Nami and Robin and headed over to where Zoro was snoozing, as he ran past him he tried to jump over Zoro's lower half and tripped falling over his large legs.

Zoro cracked an eye and focused it on Chopper who was spread eagle close to his lap, "What are you doin' kid?"

Chopper looked up at Zoro, "Luffy and I are playing tag and he's it."

Zoro stood and Chopper tumbled from his legs, "Huh, figured it was something like that." Zoro yawned and stretched out his upper body.

Both the swordsman and doctor turned to see Luffy running at them, Chopper squeaked and ran away.

Luffy who was still b-lining for Chopper ran past Zoro yelling, "Outta my way!"

_SPLASH!_

All activity on the deck of the Going Merry stopped; Luffy and Chopper ceased playing tag, Usopp looked up from his table of god only knows what with slight horror, Nami and Robin instantly stopped talking to look in the direction of the noise.

The on lookers held their breath as they heard Zoro's thrashing about in the water cursing obscenities at random while making his way back to the ship. He finally emerged, pulling himself over the railing sopping wet and outraged.

"YOU!" He pointed at Luffy, fire burning in his eyes, ready to unleash his wet furry on the young captain, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, DUMBASS! WHY DID YOU PUSH ME!"

Luffy considered for a minute why he pushed Zoro overboard, not being able to come up with a suitable answer, Luffy just shrugged at his first mate, "Dunno, I guess you were just in my way."

Zoro, still fuming with anger shouted at Luffy, "I WAS IN _YOUR_ WAY! ARRRRHHH!"

Luffy smiled, _If he was any madder I bet the water would steam its self away just like Sanji's pasta water, it'd be cool to see Zoro steaming like that! _Luffy began to giggle.

Zoro threw his hands up in frustration, spraying seawater in every direction. Giving up he headed off toward the mast.

"Where are you going?" Luffy asked astonished that Zoro would just leave him like that.

Zoro rolled his eyes, "Where do you think I'm going! I'm all wet!"

"I don't know that's why I asked! Get back here! I tagged you, YOU'RE IT!" Luffy watched on as Zoro stomped off to the men's quarters. _Stupid Zoro, Green-haired jackass! Always sleeping and ruining my fun!_ Luffy fumed for all of 3 seconds before he turned to Chopper with a wide grin, "Guess I'm still it!"

They began to chase each other around the ship again, everyone acting as if nothing had just happened, another ordinary day on the Going Merry.

**End of chapter 1**

There ya have it, the first half of my two shot, hope you liked! Now go hit that Go button! You know you want to! Picks up Jango like ring 'you will hit the Go button and review, you will hit the Go butt-uhhhhhhgg' Drooooool.


	2. Sanji's stash!

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece, not making money…blah blah…you already know**

**This is now Zoro-centric…Last chappie was Luffy and he was playing his games… poor kid, I'm not sure who to feel worse for: Luffy or his crew. He's hyperactive always hungry and bores easily, I'm surprised he's not stark raving mad by now. Always cooped up when they're sailing. and the crew who has to put up Luffy and keep him entertained, talk about a full time job!**

Chapter 2:

_Stupid little puck kid! Fuck he's so annoying! He's lucky I don't kill him! Always waking me up and making me play his dumb games, I should kill him!_

Zoro walked over to the wardrobe in search of fresh clothes, to his dismay all he found was that he needed to do laundry, "Great! I have no clean clothes… I could wear dirty ones; I don't care and it's not like anyone else would either. Except maybe Nami, damn bitch, always on my case," He imitated Nami's high voice the best he could with his own deep one, "You owe me 300,000 Beli, wake up you good-for-nothing-slacker, stop imitating me, stop wearing my clothes," He pounded his fist against the wall, "One time! Sanji told me that I couldn't drink that barrel of booze and I did it just to prove him wrong and I wake up in that _bitches_ clothes. Only ONCE, and I've never heard the end of it! Shit, sometimes I hate her! I'd like to see Luffy push _her _overboard."

Zoro walked over to where he kept his dirty laundry, tossing aside underwear, socks, pants and tops, "Bloody…bloody…bloody… covered in Usopp's stupid hot sauce… hey, this one looks okay," he held up a white shirt inspecting it, "This is pretty clean, why is it here?" He stripped off the wet, yellow, long sleeved shit he was wearing and pulled on the white one, "Oh, _that's_ why," He looked down at the dirty footprint on his chest, "Stupid ero-cook, like I'm gonna walk around with _this _on my chest and give that love-crazed moron something to gawk at. Or worse something to brag about…let my guard down once and I never hear the end of it. Jerk."

He pulled it off over his head and continued to rummage through his dirty clothes, "Nothing, nothing's even a little clean…I'm either too dirty or I need more clothes. Well, if those whiney wimps would just let me sleep I wouldn't get so dirty. Okay, I give up." He walked over to where the others kept the extra clothes they had that wouldn't fit in the wardrobe. He found Chopper's first, "yeah, nothing in here will fit me."

Next was Usopp and Luffy, picking through their stuff he managed to find some clothes, "This thing's too tight, I can't even button it…" he said pulling off one of Luffy's vests. Usopp didn't really have any shits, seeing as he really didn't wear them and the few he did have were dirty, not that they would have fit either, Luffy and Usopp were about the same size.

He found a pair of Luffy's shorts and held them up, "They look kinda small, but they might work, just until my clothes dry." He stripped all the clothes off his lower body leaving himself in just his wet socks and pulled the shorts on, "they fit okay, I guess." He found that they were tight in the legs and too small in the waist; he carefully zipped them up as far as he could, "Meh, whatever." He pulled them off and put on his wet boxers then took off his drippy socks.

He wandered over to Sanji's spare chest and opened it up, he rather enjoyed going through it. There was more than just clothes; he found porno mags, the crap he used to roll his cigarettes, another pair of shoes, some pictures of women that Zoro never recalled seeing, and a light green baby blanket, _what the hell is this? Well, Sanji is totally going to hear about this, that big baby,_ a fancy set of pure silver silverware, _he's holding out on his precious 'Nami-Swan', if she knew she'd take them from him and he's so stupid he'd let her_. He continued until he found a locked container the size of a large shoe box, _What's_ _this you stupid Ero-cook?_ He fiddled with the box until he finally got it to open, _WOAH, jackpot!_ Zoro began to laugh out loud.

**the end...for now!**

**Well, there you go, I know it's short but I've changed it…I did have almost all of the second half done, but it wasn't working for me and I really wasn't sure if I really liked it, so I came up with an idea! Wow, an idea, that's rare for me! Lol.**

**Anyway, here's the deal, you review and tell me what you want Zoro to find locked away in Sanji's chest and the most interesting idea or the one with the most votes wins and that's what the last chapter will be about. So there…hope you like and tell me what you wanna see, cause if you don't I won't be able to finish…that would suck!**

**Hit that go button and have you're voice heard! Man, am I a dork or what!**


	3. Clarobell's ending!

This is the ending that Clarobell wanted to see, So here you are Clare! On to alternate ending 1!

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece nor am I making money off this, blah blah.

Sanji's Secret Stash

Chapter 3, Version 1

Zoro smiled evilly as he pulled a small book from its spot nestled in between soft fabric in the box.

Still smiling he examined it, feeling the rich, deep red textured material that enveloped the hard cover, the edges piped in gold, "Looks expensive…kinda sissy too."

As he turned it in his hands he looked at the small lock that held the book closed. "How the Hell am I gonna open this without breaking it? Stupid piece of shit; what would be so secretive that he's gonna lock it up?"

He got up and began to search all of Sanji's things looking for a small golden key that would open the mysterious book that tantalized Zoro's imagination and piqued his curiosity.

After what to Zoro felt like an eternity he finally found a tiny key hidden on the underside of Sanji's trunk taped in place with something that looked like it came from Usopp's treasure trove of crap.

Zoro pulled the key from the trunk and opened the small book. And with a smile he flipped to a page: "June 16," Zoro read aloud, "Man and I thought the Baratie was a shit-hole… but this place, I guess it's more the people than the place…if you want to call these Neanderthals people, more like animals. I've NEVER seen such bad table manners; Luffy has to be the worst! Although that Marimo-Brain's a close second. And the stuff they talk about… such stupid things, oh, the crap my poor Nami-swan has to put up with! I don't know how she does. If I were her I'd have killed them all by now. And that…" Zoro turned to a different page, bored with June 16th. "Shit, even his hand writing is girly!" (Readers: I've reviewed this and the cool font's not supported! wahhhhh! it was so much cooler to look at! Sanji's was girly cursive, just so you know.)

He stopped on another page dated a few weeks ago, "Usopp was telling yet another of his retarded stories, this one was about a ship that got lost out at sea and was never found; something about ghosts and people being eaten alive, some shit like that. I cannot believe that Chopper believes him! How can a person, or whatever he is, with that much knowledge believe crap that is so obviously fake. Luffy too, sometimes I think he knows it's just made up, but sometimes I think he really believes it. I'm surrounded with morons and…" Again Zoro got bored and flipped through the book, searching for something to make this worth his while.

"Awwww," he said disappointed, "I thought this would be fun, maybe at least interesting. But the crap he writes in here is worthless and boring, what's the point? Aren't you supposed to write secrets and shit like that in these things?"

He again skimmed over pages scrawled with unimportant nonsense until he found something that might prove interesting.

"I spent all afternoon making something special for Nami and Robin; and Luffy came along and ate it right before I gave it to them, Robin just laughed while Nami frowned but let him stuff his face with her food… after all the trouble I went to. How can they not care! I really hate it when I go to a lot of trouble to make something extra special and Nami doesn't really notice or truly thank me…almost like she doesn't care how hard I try. Sometimes when she blows me off it really annoys me. Sometimes how Nami treats me annoys me…I kinda feel she uses me, but what can I do?"

Zoro frowned, _Nami is kinda mean to him sometimes, making him do things just cause she knows he'd never tell her no. Bitch. Not that I care how he feels or anything, I just don't like her._ He suddenly started laughing, "She annoys him too. I wonder what she'd think if she knew she gets on his nerves…stupid loser, if he wasn't so obsessed…"

He flipped backwards through the fancy book, his attention was caught by his name, not the first time that he was mentioned but the words weren't written all angry looking, "October 23" He frowned as he read aloud, curious as to what the Ero-cook wrote about him, "… and that idiot is out there training again…what the hell does he think he'll accomplish? Why does he think that muscle equals strength? The only muscle he DOESN'T use is his brain…it's probably all rotten by now, maybe that's why his hair's green, rotten brains are turning his hair funny, and not to mention UGLY colors." He frowned a little miffed, "My hair's not ugly…at least I don't look like a princess that had an accident with a weedwacker…" he continued to read. "But Moldy-hair isn't always that bad. He always thanks me for feeding him, never wastes food. Hell, even a few times he's complemented me on it, and he appreciates it, more than Nami does most of the time…although less than Luffy, now that kid is easy to please. Sometimes Zoro and I get along just fine, then he has to go and do something stupid to piss me off and then we end up fighting, and then Nami ends up mad at me…she's always mad at me…or Luffy…or Zoro…or Usopp…she's kinda an angry person isn't she?"

Zoro chuckled to himself… "I'm not so bad, huh? Well, I'll just have to change that assessment won't I…" he continued to chuckle as he looked for a pen.

……………………………………………………………………..

Sanji finished cleaning the galley and was rolling his last cigarette for tomorrow thinking it was weird that he didn't see Zoro come up from the men's bunkroom after he got pushed in the water by Luffy. And even weirder was that when he finally came up for dinner he was practically naked; his excuse was that he didn't have any clean clothes and he was waiting for his wet ones to dry. _What a pig._ Sanji thought as he picked up his papers and tobacco, ready to go to bed.

Once down below Sanji went to his trunk to take out some clean bedclothes. He changed and went back to the trunk to take out his journal…he figured Zeff kept a journal while he was out at sea, so he should too…not that he used Zeff as a role model or anything, he just thought a journal might come in handy later on.

He unlocked the book and went to his hammock. Pulling himself over the edge with a small grumble he settled himself down and opened the book to the next blank page…or what _should_ have been the next blank page. Dumbfounded he looked at the writing in front of him:

"What the hell, you're such a prissy princess. I thought only girls kept _diaries_… and what's with all this shit you've been writing? It's like reading a 15-year-old girl's diary. You're such a wuss! If I wasn't in such a good mood I'd show it to everybody. But I won't, I really don't care about all the sissy things you think about. Just so you know, I counted all the "Nami" 's in this piece of crap you call your "Emotional outlet" (What real man needs an 'emotional outlet?)and it's 192…You've mentioned that bitch in here 192 times…that's just sad and pathetic…she'll never love you, hell she'll love Usopp before she loves you, you're just her doormat. So get your face off the ground and start acting like a real man.

Zoro"

(readers: Zoro's writing was big and kinda pointy, like pissed of letters, it was so cool! now it's just plain... sniff)

Sanji sat there shocked at the words that seemed to scream out at him from the paper. But after a few minutes the shock wore off and all that was left was rage. He flipped through his journal afraid of what that shit-head might have read. And what he read became crystal clear as Sanji saw large scribbling that was not his own all over the pristine pages of his journal. Not just words that conveyed just how stupid Zoro thought Sanji was for thinking this or that, or sentences about how much of a pansy he was. There were also entire pages with giant X's through them and pages scribbled out with things written in the margins like:

"You fucking baby, someone should shoot you and put you out of your misery!"

The whole thing had comments and markings from beginning to end, no place was left untouched. And Zoro was not afraid to tell Sanji exactly how he felt. By the time Sanji had come to his senses he was both confused and livid. Why Zoro would go to all the trouble of marking up his journal was beyond him, it was more than just a chance to slander him; some of it almost seemed like advice… but most of it was slander. Still, he had intruded into Sanji's personal space and had to pay…but how?

Sanji suddenly smiled, he had an idea. He got up and went to the little table that surrounded the mast in the middle of the room, set down the journal and began to study Zoro's handwriting.

After about an hour he felt that he had Zoro's writing down and could make a convincing forgery. He decided to try a few practice letters to be safe, then he tried as hard as he could to get into a Zoro-like state of mind, "If I was Zoro… I'd have to kill myself… Sanji focus…If I were Zoro how would I write this?"

He smiled as he began to write, what he hoped would give Zoro a _very_ bad day tomorrow.

………………………………………………………………………….

Nami was up before anyone as usual this morning, stretching she moved toward the door and stopped to find an envelope sitting on the floor just after the threshold. She bent down and picked it up.

She paled more and more as she read the envelopes' contents, "OH. MY. GOD."

She walked to Robin and shook her awake with a little more force then was necessary, "ROBIN! Wake up! Right now, I need you!"

Robin awoke afraid that something bad had happened, "What is it Navigator-san! What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? WHAT"S WRONG? _This_ is what's wrong!" She flung the letter at

Robin while bouncing on the balls of her feet with her hands over her mouth, eyes wide with fear.

Robin calmed, happy nothing terrible happened, it's just a letter, how bad could that be? She slowly unfolded the letter, an eyebrow raised as she began to read: (This is supposed to be in Zoro's writing too)

Nami

How long I've waited for the right moment to share my true feelings. I'm tired of pretending to hate and despise you. My heart has betrayed me, for I can no longer control it. You are the most beautiful women I've ever met, seeing you everyday and not having you is killing me. I can no longer bear it. I'd give up my dream and all that I've worked so hard to obtain, if it meant I'd be yours. Every time I see that Stupid Ero-cook flirting and wooing you makes me want to cut out his heart and stuff it down his throat. I don't have the courage to say this to your gorgeous face, so I'm doing it here in this cowardly letter, but I love you with all my heart. I think I might die if I don't hold you soon. Always in my heart,

Zoro

Robin looked up at Nami, eyes wide, "Oh…my."

Nami just nodded her head vigorously, "Yeah." Was all she said.

"Well, this might raise some problems…What to do?" Robin sighed, still shocked and confused by the sudden outburst of emotion from the normally stoic swordsman.

"Help" Nami squeaked, she flapped her hands, "Make it stop!"

Robin shook her head, "We must take into account Mr. Bushido's feelings…" She tried very hard not to giggle, "Which are apparently for you."

Nami pointed at the older woman, "NOT FUNNY!"

Robin waved her away, "We won't do anything until he does, then you will politely explain that you don't share his feelings but would like to be friends…Unless you _do_ share his feelings!" She laughed as Nami paled and looked horrified.

"How could you even think that? He's so…Just….arrghhhh….EWWW!" Nami was not at all composed and Robin was slightly enjoying it…but only slightly.

"Cook-san will have breakfast ready soon, why don't we wait in the lounge until everyone's up?" Robin gave her an innocent smile.

"Fine." Nami said tightly.

………………………………………………………………………..

Sanji was already cooking breakfast when the two women got to the lounge and sat down, "Good morning, Robin-chan, good morning Nami-san." He said with a huge smile and he offered them coffee.

Robin took her gratefully and began to sip at the deep, fragrant liquid. Nami refused, looking upset.

He smiled joyfully to himself, it looked like Nami got "Zoro's" love letter. _This is going to be great! That shit-faced-rotten-haired-bastard is going to get what's coming to him. _Sanji thought to himself.

As if on cue the rest of the guys tottered single-file into the galley/lounge. Luffy was first followed by Chopper and bringing up the rear was Zoro, who was still widely yawning and grumbling about being woken up too early.

They all sat down at the scrubbed wooden table, Luffy sat next to Robin and Chopper sat next to him, while Zoro plopped down besides Nami and Usopp sat next to him.

Nami's eyes widened, _What is he doing? Why is he sitting next to me all close and stuff!_

Sanji tried hard to suppress the laughter that threatened to come out as he saw Nami's expression change.

Luffy pounded on the table, "FOOOD! NOW!"

Sanji flashed him a warning look that said, 'be good or no food!'

Instantly, a smile broke out on the boy's face, "Please, Sanji?" He pleaded with puppy-dog eyes.

Sanji rolled his eyes and continued to cook.

Zoro fell asleep and slumped a bit to his right…which just so happens to be where Nami was. Her eyes begged Robin to do something and help her, even if Zoro wasn't actually touching her.

Robin frowned, non-verbally telling Nami to mind Zoro's feelings.

He slumped a little farther to the right and Nami almost had a heart attack as his shoulder gently pressed against her.

_That jerk is doing this on purpose…and I have to 'mind his feelings'…Blah! He's not minding mine!_ Nami was about to explode with anger and disgust…_why him, out of all the losers on this ship it had to be him?_

As Zoro's weight pressed into her and his light snores could not only be heard… but _felt_ Nami decided she'd had enough.

She grabbed him by the shirt front and shook him, "Wake up! And stop snoring on me! What the hell's the matter with you!" She shook him a bit more and whacked him on the head, which was now lolling on her shoulder.

He lifted his head a wiped a bit of drool from his bottom lip, _Oh, now that's hot and sexy_, Nami sarcastically thought to herself.

He frowned at her, "what's the big idea? I'm not hurting you?"

"Yeah! What is the big idea!" she almost yelled at him.

Robin cleared her throat in Nami's direction.

He raised an eyebrow and shrugged, "What's with you?"

"YOU KNOW EXCATLY WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME! DON'T GIVE ME THIS CRAP!"

Robin again cleared her throat and gave Nami a little look, while saying "Feelings" under her breath.

Luffy started to laugh, "I wanna play too!"

"THIS IS NOT A GAME LUFFY!" Nami was about to lose it. Usopp suddenly decided it was a great time to fix something and grabbed a plate and took off with Chopper on his heels.

"What the Hell is wrong with you? Shit all I did was fall asleep…maybe if you weren't such a bitch we could get through a meal without scaring Usopp away and without stabbing each other with eating utensils."

"Bitch?" she said looking like she wanted to eat him alive.

"That's what I said." Zoro stood his ground, he wasn't going to be scared off by some onibaba with a bad attitude…besides he was hungry.

She shook her head, lost for words and let the fists fly. Sanji was laughing so hard he though he might piss his pants, Luffy was hopping up and down giggling as Zoro got his ass kicked like never before.

Robin hopped up blossoming arms to try to pry Nami off Zoro's now limp body, she yelled over the commotion, "Some people express their feelings differently than others! You should know that Nami!"

After another 20 minutes of fighting, yelling and laughing Nami was in her room trying to clam down while Zoro was in the care of Chopper who was trying to patch him up.

Sanji came sauntering into the room, looking at Zoro with a wide smile, "And how are we feeling?"

"Like shit, what's it to you?" Zoro flung a glass beaker at Sanji; Chopper yelled at him about breaking his medical equipment.

"Wow, you sure managed to piss Nami off, huh?" Sanji continued to smile knowingly.

"What…are you…talking about?" Zoro knew he knew something.

Sanji just flung a little piece of paper at him and smiling walked out of the room with Chopper behind him, telling Zoro to take it easy and get some rest.

Zoro opened the letter and began to read something that appeared to have been written by him.

The more he read the angrier he got. By the time he reached the end he was standing up and huffing heavily.

She stomped out of the room and ran into Robin on the deck, "Hello, Mr. Bushido. Are you feeling better now?" She asked politely.

"NO!" he growled at her.

She noticed a slip of paper in his hand and recognized it as the love letter he had written to Nami, she began to get suspicious, "Did you mean for that to get out?"

"HUH?" He was almost to mad to comprehend, "What the hell are you talking about?" he loudly said.

She pointed to his left hand, "That, was it supposed to get to Nami?"

He paled, mouth gapping, _I guess not…Sanji._ She though.

"She read this?" he asked shocked, "She doesn't think I…ew, love her, does she?"

Robin raised an eyebrow, "Well, that is what it says."

"I DIDN'T WRITE THIS SHIT!" He yelled.

"Ah, well that explains a lot. Who did?" She asked totally unfazed by his yelling at her.

"Sanji," He spat the name like it tasted bad, "He's probably just getting me back for reading his retarded diary…big sissy, crybaby!"

"Cook-san has a diary?" She asked intrigued, she was always looking for new things to read.

"Uh-huh, mainly sissy garbage…I'm going to have a little chat with him…" He turned and walked to the lounge.

She smiled, the diary still on her mind.

Zoro stormed into the Galley, "YOU!" He yelled, "She read it!"

Sanji smiled, "Yes, she did…"

"You're going to find her and tell her the truth, right now!" He pointed at Sanji, fire in his eyes.

"Or what?" Sanji asked.

"I'll do to you what Nami just did to me!"

The blonde's eye's narrowed, "Ah, fine, spoil my fun…"

Zoro pointed out to the deck.

Sanji nodded, taking off his apron to go find Nami, "You don know why I did this, didn't you?"

Zoro frowned, "Yeah, cause I read your SissyBook… That thing was torture to read. You should stick to the only thing you know who to do right."

"Fighting?"

Zoro scoffed, "Fighting! PSH! Cooking, you piss-brained, pansy!"

"Just don't read my journal again. Got that?" Sanji stated.

"Like I'd want to." Zoro again pointed to the door.

"Fine, I'm going…it was fun while it lasted."

"Ero-cook?"

"What?"

"What would you have done if she loved me back?" He said smiling, knowing that would piss him off to even think about.

His face grew dark for a second, then he laughed, "PUH-LESE! She'd never choose you over me! She'd choose Usopp before you…" He smiled at Zoro.

Zoro laughed, "God I hope so. Just tell her what you did so she stops looking at me like I'm about to rape her."

"You know you want to…" He grinned.

He scoffed again, "Shit, I'd rape Usopp before I'd rape her."

They both laughed at his semi-sarcasm. Sanji turned to find Nami and confess and Zoro dropped himself onto the floor for a nap.

Sanji turned at the door, "Marimo, you didn't tell anyone about my journal did you?" He scowled from the door frame.

"Nope." He didn't miss a beat or bat an eye…as far as he was concerned Robin was a nobody.

"Good…" Sanji said in a threatening way.

Before the door even shut Sanji could hear Zoro snoring, "Stupid Marimo."

……………………………………………………………………………..

YAY! There's the ending to Clare's idea, Hehehe I liked it. It was kinda hard at first but I pulled it together in the end! Thanks so much Clare!

Sorry if the diary writing was hard to read, I couldn't really find fonts that I thought represented their writing well…Word doesn't have a lot of choice for handwriting.

Hope you liked it, review and nothing bad will happen, as always flames will be ignored! BIACHES!


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